March 23, 2007 by info.

On the surface, Rebecca Walker’s new book, Baby Love, would seem to be her version of Mamarama:Bisexual, activist and author finds middle-years fulfillment as a mother. But given the noted third-wave feminist’s  recent comments to The New York Times, I like to think of Mamarama as the anti-Baby Love. Walker said, and apparently writes in her book (for which I refuse to shell out money), that blood is thicker than water, that she feels an attachment to her biological child that she could never feel for her stepchild, an attachment that adoptive parents wouldn’t understand. As a mom and stepmom, and best friend of an adoptive parent, I can say that’s crazy talk.

Yes, my feelings for my son are different from those for my stepdaughters, but they’re no less deep and true. They are complicated by the fact I didn’t know them their first years on earth, and by the fact they also have a biological mom. But in some ways we have gone through more things and had to work harder at our love than Cole and I have had to; there are extra strands in the rope of this bond.

Walker makes this absurd statement about how she would kill for her child but not her stepchild. I can’t even fathom how hurtful that statement must be to her stepchild. Besides, it’s not about dying; it’s about living. I take care of my daughters every day in a way that the woman who shares their genes does not. I’m sure we both would say that we’d die for them, whatever that means. And yes, sometimes I feel like killing them. That’s part of love too.

I also can’t imagine bashing your own mom in public once you’ve become a mother too. I appreciate Mom more than I ever did. Okay, I don’t know what Alice Walker put Rebecca through. But the daughter sounds not like an abused child, but like a spoiled brat out to get attention, by demeaning moms and feminists alike. If you like Mamarama, do not buy Baby Love.

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March 21, 2007 by info.

She killed it last night at the Culture Room! Here’s my Herald review and preview.

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March 12, 2007 by info.

My original and ultimate rock ‘n’ roll heroine penned a wonderful op-ed in the New York Times today. Some of it was familiar Patti, and I could have done without the humble “I don’t deserve this award but I’ll accept it in the name of my dead husband” female shuffle. But I loved reading her rhapsodizing about the Internet as the new CBGB’s; it was the first time in a while I’ve felt like she’s really plugged in. And I loved the way she talked about doing it for the neighborhood; I could totally see those regular New York folks she was talking about. Made me homesick. Wish I could have been there tonight to see her get her award, long overdue.

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March 9, 2007 by info.

Last week, conservative New York Times columnist David Brooks wrote a piece attacking hipster parents. It was a topic of many interviews I did in New York; he certainly achieved his agenda of getting talked about. Surprisingly, his attack was aimed not at book writers like me, but at the blogs and websites devoted to altparenting. He’s an old-guard attack dog wacking the ways and means of a younger generation. I usually pay him no mind — I mean, his Iraq-war stance has been his own undoing. But this time I have to comment.

As I told Doug Henwood at WBAI, Brooks is continuing what Fitzgerald called the American habit of missing the point. Altparenting isn’t about CBGB’s toddler T-shirts. Okay, yes, like all parents, my generation is guilty of wanting to raise our kids in our image; is that wrong or surprising? But it’s about issues deeper than T-shirts and image: It’s about raising our kids to share our world view, our beliefs, our value system. And those views, beliefs and values are not necessarily the same as our parents, and certainly not of Brooks, which is of course why he’s on the warpath. CBGB’s is a deceased symbol of a way of being - a place and a time and a community — that we don’t want to see vanish from the earth ideologically. Punk isn’t just a style: It’s a way of taking on the world, it’s a protest and a voice and a mission. It’s punk love, and punk anger, and punk energy. It, and hip-hop, defined our generation, and yes, we want to keep them alive in the future. And one way to accomplish that is through our kids.

Sure, they may rebel against it and become smooth-jazz lovers. But probably not. I mean, punk speaks to kids on their level: It’s puerile, immediate, loud, raucous. The Ramones singing Tom Waits’s “I Don’t Wanna Grow Up”: That’s my favorite kids song.

For me, it’s about trying to raise a little boy who will think about men and women as equals and partners, who will question warmongering, and who likes to dance. So far, we’ve got one out of three.

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March 6, 2007 by info.

Years ago, I read an article where Iggy Pop talked about how he moved to Miami because unlike the East Village, it was a place where you still felt like seedy things were going on. That article is not why I moved here, but it sure helped. Getting to bump into Mr. Osterberg around town is certainly one of the pleasures of living here. The more I get to know him, the more I like and admire him — I’m afraid I can’t say that about every rock star I meet. My recent, second interview with him ran in the Herald Sunday; check it out: http://www.miamiherald.com/548/story/29226.html

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March 6, 2007 by info.

Does anyone else suffer from the above-named affliction? After a week of readings, afterparties, morning-after parties, and hangs, I feel down.

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March 6, 2007 by info.

It was ironic that my Providence reading was sponsored by Brown University’s Sarah Doyle Women’s Center since in Mamarama, I talk about how I never went there. Somewhat cheekily, I read those parts of the book at my campus visit, about my alienation from feminism, as well as the parts where feminism and I connect again. I don’t know if it’s that I’ve changed or campus feminism has changed, but I loved the women I met at Brown last week. I felt like if I went there now, I’d live at Sarah Doyle.

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March 6, 2007 by info.

Got back from my mini-tour of the Northeast late last night. I feel like I was gone a year; psychically, I was. Going back to the sites of my past — Providence, New York — to read a book that’s half about memories: An emotional odyssey indeed.

That WNYC gig was definitely a trip highlight. Mostly, it was all about seeing old friends, including my oldest — childhood friend Jon Gold and his new wife — and people I haven’t had physical or even aural contact with in more than a decade: zine buddy Dave in Providence, sister Riot Grrrl Silver in New York. Lots of hangs, catching up. One thing Mamarama has done for me: Helped make my life of sometimes relocation and dislocation whole again.

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March 1, 2007 by info.

It’s great to be back home. Flew in and rushed to John Schaefer’s Sound Check show on WNYC, which was an amazing experience. The producers did a great job picking soundclips, and the callers — from all over the U.S. thanks to XM — made me feel like Mamarama wasn’t just some vanity project: That I’ve touched a common experience. You can hear for yourself here; I highly recommend.

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February 23, 2007 by info.

Bald Britney bashing a car with an umbrella. Pregnant Anna Nicole with face paint. Frightening images, yes, but very punk rock too. Our culture created these women, held them up as idols because of their facility with peroxide and silicone and cameras, and now we’re tearing them down. It’s sad to watch. And yet I feel these extreme gestures of theirs are the screams of objects trapped, of pregnant and postpartum women with hormones raging and society crashing down on their ill-prepared psyches. Goddess knows I’ve never had much use for Britney, but maybe this is precisely when rad women should be reaching out to her: She’s revolting, yes, but in revolt perhaps as well. Swing that ‘brella grrrl, you go!

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